008 – economics

do you know

i only took this subject

to prove you wrong?

 

it’s petty, i know,

to subject myself to something

you have no idea i do

 

just to prove a point

that you don’t even realise

you are making.

 

i take this subject,

this goddamn subject,

with all its statistics,

 

with the droning (but kind) teacher

standing at the front

drawing graphs

 

when i still fantasise

about the curve

of your smile.

 

i take it

because you think i’m crazy,

some psycho bitch

 

who’s too sensitive (i am),

who cries too much (i do),

because they don’t have things their way (i really don’t),

 

and i want to prove to you

that i can face something i hate

and revel in it.

 

i want to prove something,

but most of all,

i just want you.

 

even after all this time,

even after everything you’ve said,

i want you.

 

i want you

with all of your

free market propaganda.

 

i want you

with your goddamn non-aggression principle

that doesn’t even work

 

because people are stupid

and are always going

to punch each other anyways.

 

i want you

with your goddamn mcfucking

laissez faire

 

because maybe i just want

you to be with me

and just let things fucking be.

 

i want you

with all your emphasis

on free speech

 

because as much as you’ve hurt me

with all the things you’ve said

to me, about me,

 

it’s you that sits

in the centre

of my heart.

 

it’s your name that

leaves my lips when

i think the next words are my last.

 

it’s you who my body aches for;

my fingers still remember

the softness of your cheek.

 

and every time

i walk into

my economics class,

 

 

 

there’s nothing

on my mind but

you.

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