you had a smile like the sunflowers i grew
when i was young and had no one;
no matter what, they were still there.
it helps that you’re pretty tall too,
warm to the touch and all soft edges –
well, at least you were that way.
my love, my first love, i’ve wanted to die since before i met you.
you made it easier to wake up in the mornings,
you made it easier for me to dream –
just not anymore.
it’s not your fault i walked away,
though it hurts to see you walk away.
it’s not your fault i cannot sleep, eat,
it is no-one’s fault but my own
that i left you without truly wanting to.
it is my fault, and mine alone;
this is what i get for living for someone else
before i knew to love myself
it’s not your fault, was never your fault;
this is what i get for loving someone else
before i knew how to live.
you’re still so beautiful;
your eyes still look the way they used to,
just not the way they used to look at me
and that’s more than alright,
because if something keeps the light in your eyes
that’s enough, should be enough.
my love, my first love, take your time –
the world is cruel,
but let it be kind to you;
but sometimes i lie in bed,
aching with a tender longing,
so please know this –
i would’ve given you everything,
had it just been the right time.